What kind of a father am I? What kind of a son am I? What must my kids think of me? When I have to tell my kids about my story, one day, will they be ashamed of me? How can my journey through addiction and recovery help my children?
Men’s minds swarm with questions fueled by self-doubt when there are, or one day will be, children in the picture. The bond between a male and his parent, as well as a male and his offspring, is strong and full of responsibility. Whether men have daughters or sons, his deep desire to be a good example, provide for them, take care of them, and love them in an authentic way, runs deep. Addiction and alcoholism can create a lot of shame for men due to the stigma created by society. Through recovery, men shed the skin which societal ideologies has placed upon them and define for themselves who they will be in the various roles they will fulfill. As men define recovery to be their own, they define what parts of their recovery, as well as their addiction process, they want to pass on as tools to their children and others in their lives. By letting go of what society thinks, men can connect to the deeper themes of recovery which are the exact means of transformation which takes place. The tools men develop in recovery are nothing short of miraculous because they achieve the seemingly impossible: they help men get and stay sober.
Honesty is one of the most important qualities a man can have in is recovery life and one of the greatest tools he can pass onto his children. It took a tremendous amount of honesty with himself and with other people in his life to be able to admit that he had an addiction, it was beyond his control, and he needed help. Honesty helps children be vulnerable, teachable, and confident in their ability to grow with the help of others.
Facing addiction is no easy task. Staying sober is also no easy task. Dedicating oneself to the journey of self discovery, self growth, and sobriety means a lifetime of facing daunting challenges. Getting and staying sober takes a tremendous amount of bravery for men, which teaches their children that absolutely anything is possible if you step up to the plate.
Language is something we develop in our toddler years yet struggle to utilize appropriately throughout our entire lives. There is not enough work we can do on our communication skills, from expressing our own thoughts and feelings to resolving conflicts. Communication is how we connect with ourselves, our world, and the people around us. By growing in communication, men can have healthy, communicative relationships with their children; thus inspiring their children to have healthy, communicative relationships with others.
Tree House Recovery of Portland, Oregon is a men’s addiction treatment center that teaches our clients how to roll with life’s punches and use the tools they’ve learned throughout the treatment process to stay on top of anything life throws at them. Call (503) 850-2474 to see how we can help you today.