In the past decade or so, we have begun to see a reemergence in associating value with vulnerability. It is easy to understand why vulnerability has been conflated with helplessness and weakness because we allow ourselves to become vulnerable in connection with another person, we necessarily leave ourselves open to the potential of being hurt. It isn’t so much that we are scared to engage in meaningful connections with others, but rather we are consumed by the anxiety related to a fear of rejection. This fear is what lies at the core of the barrier which is preventing us from engaging in wholehearted vulnerability. When we understand our tendency to avoid feelings of vulnerability, we begin to understand that we are not strong or resilient because of this avoidance, but rather we are terrified that we may take the chance at genuine connection and that we might be rejected. This fear is exacerbated if we grew up in a family system where we were made to feel ashamed for being rejected or if we were not taken seriously as individuals with specific and personal needs and desires.
While avoiding vulnerability in general definitely makes sense as a strategy to circumvent feelings of anxiety related to rejection, in the long run this avoidance can wreak havoc on our personal relationships and on the process of personal growth and evolution. Emotional courage is gained through the willingness to become vulnerable and exposed in the face of those we love and want to foster deeper connection with. Because we learn valuable lessons about ourselves and others through the act of being vulnerable, the adoption of this traits also serves as a facilitator to help us grow into the best version of ourselves. If we embrace our own vulnerability as well as that of those we love, we can begin to start fostering relationships that are more meaningful and satisfying than we have before. We need to be able to take the risk of letting others know how we are feeling in order to establish bonds of trust. We also need to expect that sometimes we will hear feedback and judgements that may be difficult to accept, but through the courage it takes to acknowledge these aspects of ourselves, we will be able to forge and clear path towards our vision and our goals.
Tree House Recovery of Portland, Oregon uses cutting-edge techniques in individualized programs to help men achieve freedom from addiction. Taking a holistic, sustainable approach to the inner and outer effects of addiction ensures you or your loved one will emerge with the confidence and skills to manage your addiction independently. No one is beyond help- our Admissions Counselors are available 24/7 at (503) 850-2474